וַיֹּ֥אמֶר יְהֹוָ֖ה אֶל־משֶׁ֑ה רָאִ֨יתִי֙ אֶת־הָעָ֣ם הַזֶּ֔ה וְהִנֵּ֥ה עַם־קְשֵׁה־עֹ֖רֶף הֽוּא:
And the Lord said to Moses: “I have seen this people and behold! they are a stiff necked people. (Shemos 32:9)
וַיְמַהֵ֖ר משֶׁ֑ה וַיִּקֹּ֥ד אַ֖רְצָה וַיִּשְׁתָּֽחוּ: וַיֹּ֡אמֶר אִם־נָא֩ מָצָ֨אתִי חֵ֤ן בְּעֵינֶ֨יךָ֙ אֲדֹנָ֔י יֵֽלֶךְ־נָ֥א אֲדֹנָ֖י בְּקִרְבֵּ֑נוּ כִּ֤י עַם־קְשֵׁה־עֹ֨רֶף֙ ה֔וּא וְסָֽלַחְתָּ֛ לַֽעֲוֹנֵ֥נוּ וּלְחַטָּאתֵ֖נוּ וּנְחַלְתָּֽנוּ:
And Moses hastened, bowed his head to the ground and prostrated himself,and said: “If I have now found favor in Your eyes, O Lord, let the Lord go now in our midst [even] if they are a stiff necked people, and You shall forgive our iniquity and our sin and thus secure us as Your possession.” (Shemos 34:8,9)
Forty days after Hashem told Klal Yisrael not to build idols, they did just that in building the golden calf. Arguably one of the greatest sins to have ever been committed, Hashem appears ready to wipe out Klal Yisrael calling them a stiff necked nation. Our faithful shepherd, Moshe Rabbeinu, rushes to our defense and begs forgiveness on our behalf. Curiously, Moshe references the very appellation of stiff necked nation that Hashem used to justify our annihilation. Moshe’s argument has been the subject of dispute among the Rishonim. Rashi contends that Moshe is saying “if” they are a stiff necked nation forgive them. Chizkuni suggests that Moshe meant to say “although” they are a stiff necked nation forgive them. It is clear that Moshe Rabbeinu felt that in order to defend Klal Yisrael he must confront head on the argument that Klal Yisrael was a stiff necked nation. Moshe could not simply highlight our virtues and sweep our failings under the rug so to speak. A careful examination of these approaches yields an important question. According to Rashi we may be a stiff necked nation and if we are then please forgive us. According to the Chizkuni we are definitely a stiff necked nation. Why then should we be forgiven? Moshe’s argument highlights our shortcoming but seemingly fails to provide a meaningful argument as to why Hashem should forgive us. We would expect Moshe to rationalize our behavior in some way. Maybe we were stiff necked because we were enslaved for so long. Highlighting our failures without fully defending us is strange to say the least.
Many years ago I heard a shiur from a prominent educator who told the story about a young man who struggled with theft. The young man did not come from a religious background and the Rebbe described him as a “thug”. It was clear from the smile that adorned the Rebbe’s face as he spoke that this young man held a special place in his heart. One day the young man walked into shiur and told the Rebbe that he had noticed that the Rebbe was missing his side fender mirror from his car. Proudly the talmid told the Rebbe that he had taken care of the problem and replaced the mirror. Immediately suspicious, the Rebbe inquired as to where the talmid had procured said mirror but the boy would not answer the question. Halfway through the shiur the principal barged into the room and yelled at the talmid, “What did you do with my mirror?” The punchline of the story was that the young man grew up to be a fine talmid chacham who had authored several sefarim. But as this educator explained, he was still a thief. No longer did he steal money or mirrors but he stole time. Any extra moment that could be stolen for Torah was immediately snatched. The Rebbe explained that this young man’s personality had not changed, only his direction. The talent that had once been used for inappropriate purposes had been rechanneled and was now being used to bring Kedusha to this world.
אָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק בַּר רַדִּיפָא בְּשֵׁם רַבִּי אַמֵּי אַתָּה סָבוּר שֶׁהוּא לִגְנַאי וְאֵינוֹ אֶלָּא לְשִׁבְחָן אוֹ יְהוּדִי אוֹ צָלוּב
Rabbi Yitzḥak bar Redifa said in the name of Rabbi Ami: You think that this is derogatory, but it is only in their praise: Either Jewish or hanged. (A Jew will not desert his faith even upon penalty of death.) (Shemos Rabbah 42:9)
Our question is built on the premise that being a stiff necked nation is a failure but historically speaking it has been our greatest asset. We may have been stiff necked in terms of following Hashem’s commandments but we are equally stiff necked when it comes to following the instructions of the nations of the world. Given the opportunity to die al kiddush Hashem we have obstinately chosen Hashem time and time again. Hashem expresses his frustration that we are stiff necked and Moshe’s response is indeed they are! One can only hope that they remain so. Like the talmid who was a thief it is only a question of how we channel our talents.
Some children are more challenging than others. Some are obedient and others are stiff necked. As parents we may sometimes wish that our more difficult children could somehow change but to do so would be a terrible mistake. As Rav Nachman Bulman zt”l would often quip about raising children, “Don’t clip their wings.” The Middah that drives you as a parent most crazy is often the asset that will be most helpful to them as an adult. The ADHD child who cannot sit still, may one day be a successful businessperson whose relentless energy opens up new opportunities. (Even as I write these words, I hear the incredible energy of Rav Yosef Hirschel’s shiur piercing through my walls on an early Sunday morning. There is a reason that Rav Hirschel’s talmidim are among the top guys in our Yeshiva. Some Rabbem would clip their wings, Rav Hirschel teaches the Talmidim how to fly.) The disobedient child who refuses to follow the rules may grow up to be the adult that organizes the protests against injustice. That same charismatic class clown that disrupts the entire classroom may one day be the hysterical charismatic public speaker that inspires others to serve Hashem with passion (I’m looking at you Gav). We may bemoan the fact our children can be stiff necked when they are driving us up a wall but we need to take the long view when it comes to raising our children. Yes, they are stiff necked and thank God for that.
Submit your questions
"*" indicates required fields
